The Power to Choose

Life is our blueprint. Love is our teacher. Choice is our power. - Dr. Dan Engle

The first time I heard this quote, I was in awe. It’s so simple, yet its words rang with such potent truth in my heart. Correction: Truth, with a capital “T”. Particularly that last part: CHOICE IS OUR POWER.

So often in my life, I have forgotten this simple Truth. And frankly, I’m realizing what a bad habit it has become. Every time I grab that bag of chips over a handful of cherries. Every time I default to binge-watching The Office rather than going for a walk. Every time I procrastinate on a work task. Every time I point the finger at my partner for “making” me feel angry.

Each time, I sacrifice my power of choice. I don’t even think about it, I just default to what’s easy, comfortable, or what feels better (see blaming my partner for my own emotions).

Blame feels good, doesn’t it? When we blame another, we don’t have to take responsibility for ourselves. We don’t have to look at ourselves, or examine what is broken inside of us. Simply put, to blame others relieves us of having to do the work.

But the reality is, you are in control.

You choose what foods to put into your body.

You choose to sit on the couch or take a walk.

You choose to focus on your work or put it off.

You choose to be angry / upset / jealous / frustrated / disappointed in your partner.

I know… that’s probably not a popular opinion, but let me explain:

Our emotions belong to us and us alone. And even if someone cuts you off in traffic, or flips you off, or whatever, YOU (and only you) get to choose how to respond. It’s easy - and let’s face it, it feels really good - to get angry. We feel powerful when we’re angry. But when that person cuts you off in traffic, how long does it take you before you actually let it go and stop ruminating over that situation?

If you’re like me… it probably takes you the entire rest of the drive home, and maybe even into the evening before you stop complaining to your partner about what a jerk that guy was. And likely… that “jerk” either a) didn’t even realize he cut you off, or b) doesn’t care. So the only one suffering… is you.

I love this quote from Thich Nhat Hanh that sums this up more eloquently than I ever could:

“Don’t wait for things to change around you. Don’t believe that shouting for one thousand years will bring you relief. You have to practice liberating yourself. Then you will be equipped with the power of compassion and understanding, the only kind of power that can help transform an environment full of injustice and discrimination.”

BUT SARAH, what if my spouse cheats on me? What if I’ve been abused? What if I lose someone close to me?

Still… you have the power to choose. And understandably there is a season of anger, rage, grief, sadness, despair, confusion, and a whole myriad of other emotions that go hand-in-hand with the injustice, destruction, and exploitation in the world. I’m not at all suggesting that you shouldn’t feel any or all of those things when you’ve been wronged or harmed at the hand of another. What I am inviting you to recognize though, is that even in the midst of deep, deep darkness, we still hold the power to choose. Regardless of the actions of another, the power of choice can never be taken away from you. Never. Unless you choose to give it away.

You can choose anger or forgiveness.

You can choose contempt or compassion.

You can choose sadness or joy.

You can choose anxiety or peace.

You can choose fear or love.

These choices are available to you - and within you - at anytime, anywhere, and for any reason. And I don’t know about you, but knowing this Truth with a capital “T” brings me a deep sense of both comfort and responsibility. It floods me with a sense of empowerment and strength.

So the next time you’re cut off in traffic, or wrong by someone in your life, remember: Life is your Teacher. Love is your Blueprint. Choice is your Power.

Choice is your Power.

I invite you to examine the places in your life that you either knowingly or unknowingly give away your power of choice, and let me know in the comments below.